SCRUBS: THE NEXT GENERATION: JadaDanlore
by Tharpdevenport
Summary: My second Scrubs: TNG story. Two new characters introduced, and it turns out ... Jada has a brother.
1. Chapter 1

The U.S.S. Sacred Heart travels at high warp. Stars streak by  
Kelso's voice goes over the Bridge scene as he sits there, "Captain's log, stardate 0507.02. The Sacred Heart is traveling to the Omicron theta System to check up on a settlement that has not returned our subspace calls. I have increased warp speed so we'll still make out scheduled computer upgrade. Millions of recipe from many races, and yet only about 50 flavors of muffins. Go figure."  
"Any particular reason you increased warp there, Bob-O?" asks Cox.  
"I just like warping space. Give's me something to do."  
"You are aware it damages the fabric of space, right?"  
"Perry, space is about the size of my ex wife's ass -- an endless expanse I'll never explore. Tear a hole here or there ... we'll just go around it."  
"You hopeless romantic," Cox replies sarcastically.  
"bite me. Ensign Ted, what's the ETA to the colony?"  
Ted plays with his hair, looking at it's reflection in the black control panel.  
"Ensign Ted, usually when I ask questions I expect answers, especially since Starfleet won't allow me to phaser whip ensigns anymore."  
"Sorry, sir, just teasing my quaff," presses some buttons, "20 minutes, sir."  
"Good. Just where the hell is out other Ops officer?" asks Kelso.  
Elliott interjects, "Ah, he's in his quarters," says in an inner voice, "sound-proofing the bathroom so he doesn't hear me when I use it..."  
"Ted, go tell Mr. Jada he's needed on the Bridge."  
"But, sir, I'm navigating the ship."  
"Acting ensign Ted -- the ship doesn't need you anymore than ensign Tisdale."  
"She changed quarters and her subspace frequency number."  
"It's called natural selection. Oh, and pick me up a Tea, Earl Grey, hot, from 10-Forward."  
"Ahhhhh..." Ted sighs.  
Turk's voice chimes over, "I'll get him, sir."  
Kelso says, "Don't forget my tea--"  
"Turk out. _Peace!_"  
"Damnit."

...  
Jada's quarter's doorbell chimes.  
"Come in."  
Turk enters.  
"Wassup, J.G. Dizza--"  
"Ah ... ahhh ... ah-chu."  
"What are you doing?"  
"Practicing sneezing."  
"What -- did you program yourself to have a cold?"  
"A cold what?"  
"You know we're nearly at your home world?"  
"Yes, and I am all agog with excitement."  
"That was pathetic beyond words, and what the hell does 'agog' mean?"  
Turns to face Turk from the mirror, "Turk, we talked about expanding your vocabulary..."  
"Hey, I am the chief engineer. I don't have time to be reading Webster's 24th Century Dictionary. I got to make sure everything is in order for the computer upgrade. Don't want to lose containment or something like that."  
"Anyway, I will be glad to revisit home," Jada heads to the entrance doors.  
"You can never go home again..." says Turk.

Turk and Jada walk down a corridor.  
"Dude, I totally hacked into the shift schedules."  
"And?" asks Jada.  
"And what do you think? Tonight ensign Turner and Lt. Hutch will be pulling duty in biometrics together."  
"Awesome! I cannot wait to see it. There is something oddly compelling about 19th century television."  
"Hell yeah there is; 19th century TV brought us the Brady Bunch."  
They both say together: "Marsha! Marsha! Marsha!"  
Jada speaks after, "It appears some maintenance officer has left this Jeffery's Tube hatch open."  
"Probably Doug. When something bad happens down there, we call it a 'Doug', 'cause 98% of the time it's him," they walk off after Jada re-seals the hatch, "I don't even like leaving him alone over there."  
A thud comes from the other side of the Jeffery's Tube hatch.  
"Hey..." some movement, then the hatch unlocks and falls to the ground; the janitor sticks his head out and sees Jada walking around the corner with Turk, "That's **_ONE_**..."

Turk and Jada enter the Bridge.  
"Approaching the planet now, captain," says Elliott.  
"Standard orbit, miss Reid."  
"Preparing for standard orbit. Entering standard orbit."  
"Lt. Reid, I don't need an update every two seconds on matters baring no importance to the operation of this vessel."  
"Does that mean I should call off the order from 10-Forward?" she asks.  
"Just make sure that orbit is standard," says Kelso in a piffy voice.  
Elliott says quietly to Jada who passes by, "Yes!" and makes a little fist.  
"Way to go," smacks her on the butt.  
She smiles and follows him away with her eyes. She suddenly feels another smack and turns quickly to see Turk.  
"Turk, what are you doing? There will be no smacking of my ass by you or any one else. Again. This," points to it, "belongs to J.D.."  
"Oh, I'm ... curse this blindness!" and turns away quickly to the Engineering Ops station.  
"Mr. Jada, is it true you hold the memories of all the colonists?"  
"Yes, sir, 411."  
"What a coincidence -- I have the countless memories of you annoying me," says Cox.  
Jada spins around in his Ops chair he had just sat in, "Why do you hurt me when I show you nothing but love?"  
"Ah, captain," Elliott speaks up.  
"The chair recognizes one skittish walking make-up activity," says Kelso.  
"Sensors aren't detecting any colonists, or activity."  
"Impossible; last ship there reported 411 like EVE here said," Cox comments loudly.  
Kelso sighs heavily, "There go my dinner plans at the starbase. And they have a fantastic selection."  
"You can clog you arteries here just the same," says Cox.  
"Fine. Number one, assemble an away team."  
"What -- you're not coming?"  
"I'd like to join the away mission, Perry, but I got an away mission with a blueberry muffin," opens his mouth and takes a bite of half a muffin, "away," threw chewing food and raising his eyebrows.  
"Gandhi, Barbie, Galatea, doomed ensign in the red shirt, come with me," Cox strides quickly to the turbo lift. Everyone else enters.  
"Dude -- we are about to totally get freaky with a mystery," says Turk.  
Jada replies, "Excellent; I am all agog!" he announces in the turbolift loudly. Everybody stares at him as the doors close.

"You got those coordinates locked in?" Cox asks the transporter room ensign.  
"Yes, sir," says ensign Keith.  
"That's a good little transporter chief," steps onto a pad.  
"We are transporter pad friendzies; see -- mine is right next to you," says Jada to Cox.  
"Mark my words, I _will_ find a way to physically hurt you."  
"Make sure you got those coordinates entered in right, ensign Keith. You remember what happened the last time."

**FLASHBACK**.  
An away team materializes on the pads. The sparkling fades on all but one who still transports. IT starts glowing widely and screams emerge until the sparkles fade and a pile of goo remains.  
"Dude!" shouts Turk  
"I didn't mean it!" says Keith.  
"So, does this mean her quarters will be up for grabs. I hear it has got a lovely view of the aft end of the ship," asks Jada.  
**END FLASHBACK**.  
Keith retorts, "I did not kill Lt. Commander Mickhead's wife -- someone sabotaged the system!"  
"A likely story. Energize," says Jada.

Cox and team survey the devastated landscape.  
Turk, kneeling over the ground with a tricorder, "Sir, this ground is colder than a Romulan mistress."  
"That's impossible; last ship here reported fertile farmland," says Cox.  
Turk replies, "I'd say by these readings everything was either dead or dying about the time the last ship here left."  
"There," Jada points with a tricorder, "I was found 20 meters that way," starts walking.  
Everyone catches up.  
"Oh, just what the hell is a meter? What are we in, France?" says Cox.  
"20 meters is the equivalent of 65.5 feet using the current measurement system."  
A-hem," Turk pokes at Jada, "Dude, he was being sarcastic."  
"Oh. Hilarious satirical musing, sir. I am sure no one else laughed because they were not paying attention."  
Elliott speaks, "so, what's it like being home again?"  
"Oddly uncomforting. It has all been destroyed. No one I knew is even here. It is a lot of people to deprogram from the Hug Schedule."  
"My V.I.S.O.R. is picking something up..."  
"The Orion Slave Girl subspace channel?" asks Cox.  
"That's sexist. Sir," says Elliott in a huff.  
Cox squints evil eyes at her.  
"Ah-huh ... very clever the way they hide this..." says Turk, looking at a wall face.  
"Now, I'm no expert in hiding things, but I'm reasonably sure it's not a toughie when dealing with a blind man."  
"You know, I find that remark incredibly insulting, especially coming from a man whose hair is _running away from his forehead_," steps away from the wall of dirt which opens to reveal an underground facility.  
Bright white florescent light turn on and a hum fills the empty corridors.  
"Sir, as chief of security I highly advise I go in first."  
Cox folds his arms and says with sarcasm, "As a high ranking executive office on a suspiciously dead planet entering a mysterious underground complex, I say ... ladies first."  
Elliott draws her phaser and enters.  
Cox signals for Jada to enter and speaks, "Newbie, I said ladies first."  
"fine," Jada utters as he walks by.  
They all look around. Cox enters a room, they follow.  
"Barbie, why don't you and useless red shirt go look around."  
"Whatever. Ensign Cabbagio, come on," storms out.  
Jada walks around with a tricorder while Cox fools with items lying around.  
"There are a number of sophisticated work tools about; maybe this room was some kind of repair station. Yes. The room is starting to feel familiar now."  
Cox pulls down a ceiling holding unit and picks up a mask.  
"Dear Kahless, please tell me there are no more of you."  
Jada snatches the mask and puts it on his face, "It is like a jock strap for my face."  
"It's a plastic mold, dummie."  
"Scans show there is something inside this large storage unit."  
Cox presses some controls panel buttons. the unit hums. Jada opens the large doors; the sound of air decompressing and shooting out in cold smoke happens.  
There, in a bathtub, sitting up straight, is a frozen android with what appears to be a beer in his right hand.  
Jada looks in awe.


	2. Chapter 2

"Amazing -- I have a brother."  
"What a coincidence -- I have a brother named _stop bothering me_," says Cox.  
"He needs some assembling."  
Cox ads, "Some assembly required," then sniffs the air and ads, "What is that smell?"  
"Oh, well, you see, since androids do not need liquid refreshment to survive, the body exudes the biomechanical contaminates to keep it from further polluting the bio mechanical liquid inside."  
"So, essentially your brother is sitting in his own piss."  
"Yes, but piss that is still clean and tastes like beer."  
"This must be a proud new day for you."  
Elliot and ensign Cabbagio come back.  
"Sir, the place is massive, but no life forms. But I did find these, " hands Cox and Jada some kid drawn pictures.  
Jada speaks, "It appears to be of the settlement."  
Elliot comments, "Yeah, but that big crystal Christmas tree thingy is attacking them in every picture. Small hands..." drops the remaining picture, "Ah, ensign Cabbagio, pick those up for me. And hold on to them."  
"Huh!" Jada opens a drawer with spare body parts, "Finally -- Floating Head Lt. becomes a reality!"  
"Let's beam up dupli-kate before newbie here finds something else to play with."

...  
Everyone sits in the Briefing Room.  
"You found another one?" asks Jordan.  
"I know, I had a similar thought, only laced with many colorful metaphors," replies Cox.  
Jada says with a hint of sarcasm, "Gee, I am so glad you are here to counsel me in my time of un-assuredness."  
Kelso butts in, "So, how many Jada's are there? If we bend him over and pull his pants down, will it say 'Made in Ferenginar'?"  
Jada replies, "Will the real Jada please stand up, please stand up, please stand up," stands and does a funny dance, "please stand up."  
"I'm sure if we bend you over it'll say 'Grumpy Ol' Coot'," comments Elliott.  
"Actually, it says 'Johnny', but if you went threw what I did, you'd understand."  
"Until today I thought I was an only android."  
"He could be like his brother. We should assemble it and bring it online," Carla comments.  
"Joking aside, is it really wise? I mean -- someone obviously shut it down and disassembled it for a reason," says Kelso.  
"Why do you all have to be so insensitive? You're speaking about his brother like he's a machine," Elliot scolds the main officers.  
Jada ads, "Implying you think I am one too."  
"Well, I do," says Kelso without missing a beat.  
Jada looks at Cox, "Et tu, Cox?"  
"No, you're a little girl. A robotic little girl--"  
"-- that has detachable pig tails and rides a hover trike."  
"No. Well ... yes."  
"Well, just turn the damn thin on and see if it even works. It has been 30 years," says Kelso.  
Turk speaks, "Will we know how ... to 'turn it on'?"  
"You want to turn on my brother?"  
Cox ads, "I think that just goes without saying."  
Jordan nudges Cox, "Perry, we talked about holding back a little."  
"All right, all right ... this is cutting dangerously close to me not giving a damn," says Kelso.  
"And what do you care about, Bob-O?" asks Cox with folded arms.  
"Pastries and Vietnamese women."  
"Sir, the Bynars and he computer upgrade," Ted says.  
"I know that, Ted. Muffin me," opens his mouth and Ted sticks in a muffin.  
"So, Carla, you think you can get that thing up & running?" asks Cox.  
"Shouldn't be a problem. Do it right in Sick Bay. Chief Engineer Turk can assist me."  
"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about."  
"Well, you all go do that. Meeting adjourned. Ted -- wipe," and Ted wipes around Kelso's mouth as everyone leaves the Briefing Room.

Turk puts his hands on Carla's shoulders, "Honey, I got some Engineering stuff to do, so I'll catch you later."  
"All right," and with that they kiss. He then jogs off.  
"You and Turk seem to be getting along," comments Jada.  
"Once you look passed the mole and crackers hidden in his uniform, he's not that bad."  
"Hell yeah, and his ass is so round and firm."  
"So, how does it feel to know that in less than 24 hours you'll have a brother?"  
"You know what -- kind of exciting. though it does bother me I can not seem to find any memories of Sam Dorian constructing him or the colonists seeing him."  
"Maybe you came first. Hey, how do we activate your brother?"  
"Oh, well I," looks around to make sure they are alone, "I have an on/off switch."  
"Where?"  
"Not here; I will show you later. He might be watching..."  
"He?" she inquires as they walk off.  
"If you had an off switch, Carla ... would you not keep it secret?" his voice fades and they go around the corridor bend.

The view pans up to a silent small hover pad. Around the bending corridor hall the Janitor peaks out.  
"An on/off switch? This may prove to be better than the Rigillion squirrel hunt. Hover pad -- come," he commands; the pads lowers and as it flies by we see him pick his communicator badge off it and re-attach it to his uniform.

Jada, Carla, and Elliott are in Sick Bay. Carla is setting up.  
"So, will he have all our ... parts?" asks Carla.  
"Most likely."  
"_All_ your parts?" asks Elliott.  
"Elliott, I told you earlier -- no robotic threesomes with my future brother."  
"Humph."  
"Well, no weird fetishes here..." comments Carla.  
"You want to find the switch now?" Jada asks Carla.  
Carla replies, "What about crazypants here?"  
Elliott says, "Oh, you mean his on/off switch? I already know. Auto robotic asphyxiation."  
"Shhh, Elliott, I am sure Carla here does not need to know such things."  
"Also later," says Carla to Elliott.  
"Got'cha."  
"Feel along my back, here," guides Carla's hands.  
Turk enters with some equipment and passes by.  
"There?"  
"No, lower."  
"Here?"  
"Oh, that is the spot."  
Turk darts in, "Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa honey -- how come you feelin' up my robotic homie all up?"  
"Relax, she's just turning me on," says Jada.  
"How come that doesn't make me feel better?"  
"This is purely medical, Turk. What about these small projections?"  
"Small projections? I do not have small projection.."  
"Okay, that's enough!" shouts Turk, pulling her hands away from Jada.  
Just then the Sick Bay doors slide open' Kelso, Cox, and some Engineering personnel enter, bringing with them loose parts of Jada's brother.  
"There's your brother now," says Elliott.  
"I am so agog!"  
"Miss Reed, it's a machine just like Mr. Jada here. WEll, sport," pats Jada on hi back, "it appears you're no longer unique."  
Cox commands, "Let's get this thing started, shall we?"

Time passes by, equipment is set up, medical tables prepared and Jada and his brother put atop the adjacent beds. Carla turns Jada off.  
"Sleep tight, Pinocchio..."

More time passes. Doug accidentally knocks the head over onto the floor. Turk scolds him. More time. Turks and Carla look over open chest cavities of both androids.  
Turk speaks looking at the magnified images via the biobed screens, "Notice the micro-circuitry here ... and ... what there..." pulls a saltine cracker out of Jada and holds it up looking at it.

More time goes by.

"Are you about done there, Gandhi? We already lost Kelso to Lunner."  
"What?" says Jordan.  
"Snack time inbetween lunch and dinner."  
"Closing up now," Turk rubs his hands together while Carla uses a dermal regenerator to seal Jada's chest, "Seemed to go well ... hey -- anybody seen my commbadge?"  
"There -- that's it. Everyone turn around while I activate them. You too, Turk."  
"But, baby -- I'm your man. Also, I'm sort of his man too, but not in any kind of man-on-man way. Like Best Friends Forever way."  
Cox huffs, "Sweet merciful Kahless -- I'm running out of room to bite my tongue."  
"Now, Turk."  
Turk huffs and turns around. After about 30 seconds she speaks, "There."  
They turn about. Jada wakes up.  
"How you feeling, buddy?" Turk asks him.  
"Feeling slightly groggy."  
"Dude, what is it with you and _O's_ & _G's_ today?"  
"How long until he awakens?" asks Cox.  
"I don't know, "replies Carla.  
"Probably inner diagnostics running. Should come to any moment," Turk says.  
"It's amazing how much he looks like you," Elliott comments.  
"Yeah, well, there is only room for one super hot interstellar stud muffin here," says Jada.  
"I wouldn't have you any other way," says Elliott, who wraps her arms around him and gives him a kiss on a cheek.  
"Yeah, super hot stud muffin aside, hat do we call him?" Carla asks.  
His brother's eyes open suddenly and he looks at Carla.  
"You can call me Danlore."


	3. Chapter 3

Danlore is still lying on the biobed.  
"Or Casanova, or sexbot -- what ever floats your boat," looks at Elliott sensually.  
"Why -- I can think of a few names right now," comments Cox.  
Danlore continues speaking, "Oh, and he was first," pushes the biobed open and sits up, "but of course he was inferior, so I was made."  
"Well, first, second, or third, we all still have posts to man. Everyone get back to work," and with that Kelso leaves Sick Bay.  
"Yeah, Elliott and I are both kind of on the Bridge with him, so we got to go," says Jada.  
"Elliott, huh?" looks her over, "You two mind if I tag along?"  
"Absolutely," blurts out Cox.  
"Who's the guy with the goldie lock curls?" Danlore asks Jada with funny tone.  
Jada speaks lowly, "Ah, you really should not--"  
"Listen and listen good: I am the second in command of this vessel. I will be key in determining if you stay aboard or accidently go missing in a plasma stream. So, for now on refer to me only as: Commander Cox."  
"Yeah, not gonna happen, Coxy," pats him on a shoulder and leaves with Jada and Elliott; Jada hides behind Elliott as they exit.

...  
Danlore sits at the helm. Ted is overhead.  
"... and so, this is helm control. Lots of pretty blinking buttons and pleasant sounds. We travel threw space in measurements called degrees. There's like 260 in a fell circle."  
"360," Jada corrects quietly.  
"360," Ted repeats.  
Danlore comments, "Then you say, mark."  
"Right, and that seperates it from another 3..." looks at Jada, jaw hanging open in mid speach.  
"360."  
"360 degree circle at a right angle."  
"Oh, neat -- can travel in all three dimensions."  
Cox walks over with folded arms, "And the square of the hypotnuse of the right triangle..."  
"Is equel to the sum of the square of it's other two..." sees them looking at him, "something. I don't even know what a hypotnuse is; relative of a hippo? I was just guessing."  
"Well, _I_ know what a hypotnuse is at least," says Jada with triumph in his voice.  
"Good for you, sport; I don't care. Mr. Jada, why is your brother on the Bridge?"  
"Owww ... have I committed a _'bad'_?" asks Danlore.  
Ted replies, "There's like ... thousands & thousands of rules."  
"Oh, my bad. So," Danlore claps his hands together, "what are my duties?"  
"Were you ever that eager to please, J.D.?" Elliott asks.  
"I enjoy pleasing humans," says Danlore.  
"Too easy..." comments Cox.  
"Never. I judge Danlore to be superior in ass-kissing."  
"Oh -- he said a naughty word," says Danlore.  
"Grow up," says Jada.  
"I really enjoy pleasing humans. Especially blond ones," Danlore tries to woo Elliott again. "My brother."  
Cox puts his hands out to his sides and raises them slightly, eyes looking up, "Will this plentiful bounty of temptation never end?"  
"Stay away from my girl," he then thinks to himself: even though _'My brother'_ was meant sarcastically, it still had a nice ring to it.  
"Robotic spats off the Bridge, Mr. Jada," Kelso commands.  
"Come on, I will show you my quarters., Jada says to Danlore.  
Danlore gets up and follows Jada to a turbolift.

They exit the turbolift.  
"You do realize Cox's hypotnuse question was to show you are smarter than you let on, right?"  
"Thought as much. Smarter people usually have beards, though."  
"Hey -- commander Cox has helped me a lot; he's like a mentor. You should get to know him," they walk off.  
"Fine," Danlroe kicks a hover pad over, spilling it's holdings.  
The Janitor peaks around a corner to see just the back of Danlore, walks around the corridor. He looks down and sees his hover pad upside down and the tools scattered, "That's _TWO_."

"I've always been good at picking the stupids out, like Ted," says Danlore.  
"I am sure he is much, much more," says Jada.  
"It's okay; don't be jealous of my abilities."  
"Living alone for 30 years in a bathtub of mostly bio synthetic urine?"  
"Hey -- that urine kept me warm."  
They enter Jada's quarters. Jada sits at his work station and starts hitting keys, but Spot jumps up and blocks them.  
"Spot -- move."  
Spot doesn't move.  
"Spot, please move."  
Spot just looks at him while sitting on the keyboard.  
"I find ... often ... Spot just lacks _any_ motivation. Often he will just relieve himself on my chair than walk three feet to the litter box."  
Danlore bends in, Spot growls, then hisses, "RUFF!" and with that Spot dashes off, scared.  
"Hey -- no traumatizing my cat."  
"Relax -- just playing a game with him. So, what'cha lookin' up?"  
"Any information on Sam Dorian."  
"Ah, good old often-wrong Sam."  
Looks at Dan funny, "Dan, he was essentially out father."  
"Just a joke; the colonists invented it. He invented the positronic brain, after all."  
We see the screen Jada is reading. On it:

Lying: a false statement made with the deliberate intent of deceiving; an intentional un-truth; a falsehood.

"Well, just show a little more respect," says Jada.  
"Anyway, when can I have a tight package-displaying uniform, too? The ladies love the package, even when fake."  
"If you get one the way I did ... four years at the Academy, three as ensign, and of course begging commander Cox for a gold one."  
"Yeah, I think I'll steal one."  
"Probably should not."  
"I'm too smart -- we're too smart for uniforms and decades of wasted time. Take me: I use contractions, while you do not."  
Jada sings, "_I say potato, you say patahtoh, you say pahtahtoh_--"  
"Stop doing that."  
"Okay."  
"Blue, red, gold -- you can wear what ever color you want. You're better than them. Why immitate?"  
"Well, I do keep failing at my attempts..."  
"I can help you become much, much more..."  
Looks at Danlore with some suspicion, "I now have duties to perform. Use the computer to study human culture. And ass-kissing."  
"I will," switches places, "Whoa -- porn. Bingo. There's no _'lore'_ about what's going on down here."  
"No porn. Do not forget to write a report about what happened to the colonists."  
"I promise a report of great detail and accuracy."  
"Really?"  
"Nah. It's all fuzzy now. Some vaguness, some missing details. Dinosaurs might have been in it for all I recall."  
"Oh," Jada leaves the room.  
He proceedes around a corner and knocks into a hover pad, sending tools to the floor. He tries to pic them up, but sees the familiar pant legs of the Janitor in front of him. He rises.  
"Sorry, I did not see it---"  
"That's three."  
"Three what?"  
"Each time you mess with me, you get one strike. Enough strikes and I torture you merciously until next month."  
"When did I get number one?"  
"You locked me in a Jeffrey's Tube. I was in there so long I had to eat my own foot."  
"They open from the inside, too."  
"I was counting on you not knowing that."  
"What was the second?"  
"You have the nerve to play innocent after doing it again?"  
"Do what?"  
"You don't want to admit knocking over my tools, that's fine. Maybe later I won't admit to blasting you out an airlock."  
"Wait -- my brother must have done that."  
"That's four!"  
"But, it should be three since my brother got second!"  
"That's five!"  
"How many are there?"  
"I don't know -- I haven't decided yet."  
"You know what? Today is a good day; I have a brother and things are going well, so why do you not pick up your out-of-date tools, shovel on off to your lonely, empty quarters, pretend to have a conversation with your stuffed tribbles, and try not to cry because no one loves you and you will be alone for the rest of your life," and walks off in a huff.  
The Janitor looks sad, "Too mean."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: "My First Suspicion"**

.  
Everybody sits at the conference room table.  
"Thanks to some data and recollection from DanLore, we now know what happened to the colonists. Turkleton."  
turk gets up to the view screen, "As you can all see on the jumbotron viewer, I have recreated this with DanLore's help," he switches it on.  
"What in Kahless is name is that?" asks Cox.  
Kelso replies, "He says it's called the 'crystalline entity'; able of stripping all living matter from a planet."  
Turk ads, "Insatiable; feeds on life."  
"Dodged another bullet, ay Ted?" Cox quips.  
"Huh?" Ted replies confused.  
Cox looks at Jordan, "I didn't know your mother was capable of interstellar travel..."  
"Just for that, tonight you're gonna have to make love to me."  
"So, why wasn't J.D. killed with the rest of them?" asks Carla.  
He answers, "I speculate being disassembled precluded any signs it might recognize as life."  
"Unfortunately this banter sums up our combined kowledge. ted, muffin me."  
"Wait," Carla interjects, "in order for DanLore to know, he'd have to have been assembled, but then that would have made him alive. And J.D.'s biochemical liquids are full of energy, even disassembled. None of this makes sense at all. In fact, the large riffs on the surface make it impossible to believe one small rock with an android could come out unscaved, and-"  
"Honey, it's too late - you've lost him to the muffins."  
"I said Macadamia's, not Macadoo's, Ted! This is the sort of things that costs one a promotion."  
"Awww..."  
"You wanna go to 10-forward after the meeting?" Jada asks Elliot.  
"Sure. Hey, how about your brother comes along?"  
"Great," then internally, "not."

.  
Jada, Elliot, and DanLore sit in 10-Forward.  
"So this crippled colonist kid ends up asking me to play football with him, so I go - sure, why not?" DanLore speaks.  
"Awww..." Elliot says in a living way.  
"How does a crippled kid catch a football?" Jada rebukes.  
"Shhh!" she pokes him in his left arm.  
"But I guess I didn't know my own strength and when I caught the damn thing, I popped it. But then I remembered my brother's deactivated head."  
"You played football with my head?"  
"True story; his head used to be skin tone, but the sun bleached it white."  
"That was so nice of you to help him out," says Elliot.  
"Babies, kids, cripples - even cats in trees - always helpin' the little guy."  
"Everybody is an ant when you think they are beneath you," says Jada.  
"Am I detecting a note of sarcasm?"  
"Well, I am imitating it pretty thickly."  
"Well, I'm sorry there's no trees with kittens in them for you to rescue, J.D.," says Elliot, defending DanLore.  
"Are cats even indigenous to Omicron Theta?"  
"Come on - I'll show you the arboretum," she leaves with DanLore.  
Laverne comes by and picks the cups up.  
"What? You think I did not notice you cleaning that table next ot our for over five minutes? If you are looking for your bees' wax, none of it is over here, Laverne."  
"Careful, or you're gonna wear that tini."  
Jada gets up and leaves 10-Forward.

Jada sits at his Ops station, hitting the keys hard with one finger.  
"Sir, my shift ended ten minutes ago," says Ted.  
"So?" replies Kelso.  
"Can I go?"  
"No, you're gonna stay here and do busy work."  
"Do I have to?"  
"shut up, Ted," says Kelso.  
"Can I stop for lunch?"  
"shut up, Ted," Jordan ads as well.  
"No," replies Kelso.  
"Well, then I'm gonna get a synthisoda."  
Everyone: "SHUT UP, TED!"  
"Awww..."  
Cox studies the command console, "Veronica, are you expecting your brother up here?"  
"I do not care about my stupid brother or my stupid quarters."  
"My - aren't we in a programmed fit, but if you could take a moment out to care about your stupid rank, that would be super awesome."  
"No, I do not know what he is doing."  
"Hun, says here he examined some microminiature work tools and some fine-grain quadrotanium."  
"Is that dangerous? Can he make a bomb with those?" asks Kelso, worriedly.  
Jada answers, "Sir, then that would make me da bomb."  
"I don't get it. And I don't want to," says Kelso.  
"those tools are used in out construction. No more suspicious than you asking for an antiseptic, a libido regenerator, or an antiseptic."  
"Ah. Which reminds me ... Ted, did you replicate that butt ointment like I asked?"  
"Yes, sir. It's in your quarters."  
"Very good. See you at 100 hours - and bring cotton gloves. Last time that latex made my ass breakout."  
"ted, yesterday if anybody asked me if there was anything lower than your rank, by golly - I wouldn't have had an answer, but now..."  
Jada stands, "I should probably check on it anyway," inner monologue, "and make sure he's not frenching my girl."  
"Very well," says Kelso.  
Jada leaves the Bridge.  
"Hey, how come he gets to leave?" asks Ted.  
"Shut up, Ted," says Kelso.  
"It's all right, Teddy, you still have the quaff..." teases his hair with a comb.

DanLore pours a drink into a glass and drops some powder into it. the quarter doors open and Jada enters.  
"Okay, what did you do with Elliot?"  
"Nice to see you too. She dumped me; kept obsessing over whether Omicron Theta did indeed have cats. She eventually asked the computer and found out I lied. Thanks, dear brother."  
"Oh, can it. You do not care. What are you doing anyway?"  
"Celebrating. An old human custom still practiced today. You wanna be human, you go to observe such things," extends the glass to Jada.  
"No, thank you. Stay away from my girl for now on!"  
"Well, then I guess I'll just pour this appletini out..."  
"I will take that," grabs it and starts sipping. "What are we toasting to?"  
"The discovery of each other. The discovery of your hot girlfriend has brought new meaning to my life."  
"Yeah, well, about th-" stops short and starts showing facial expressions showing problems within himself.  
"And let us also ... well, not so much as 'us' but me. In fact, just me. Let me also thank Sam Soong, I mean Sam Dorian, for giving me this emotion chip and not sticking around to make sure I used it properly. Ah - absentee parenting."  
"DanLore..." and with that Jada collapses to the floor.  
"and let us also toast the great crystalline entity with whom I learned to communicate. Thought I was tripping on polywater when a giant crystal talked back to me, but go figure. Before Sam disassembled me, I paid back all those asshole colonists who distrusted me and didn't like me by revealing them to the entity. Boy, it's gonna love gobbling up all you new assholes!"  
Jada's eyes start to close. DanLore bends over and farts on him.  
"Oh god!" a briefly blurt comes out of Jada before he shuts down.

The U.S.S. Sacred Heart travels at warp.  
"Hum, strange. Looks like J.D. is transmitting on a subspace channel," says Turk.  
"For what?" Kelso turns around to ask.  
"Well, I think I overheard him say he was researching his creator," says Cox.  
"Let's be positive; I don't trust robots. They're evil and they push old people down open turbo shafts. Or so I've heard."  
"Well, Bob-O, I have it on good authority over a thousand people here want to push you down an open turbo shaft. Though, to be honest, a good ol' fashioned airlock blow would do."  
"Ted, go check on him. Discreetly," Kelso orders.  
"Yes, sir."

DanLore stands at the communications panel on the wall and speaks  
"Crystalline entity, upon arriving here you can identify me as the humanoid 'Jada'."  
The door chime sounds.  
He closes the subspace frequency, "Come in."  
The doors slide open.  
"Hey, Jada, I - whoa! What happened to your brother?"  
"OH, thank goodness you of all people are here, Ted! My brother learned the captain was using sensors to track his movements and became enraged. He actually attacked me."  
"Wow..." backs out, "I'm not actually in any danger am I? I'm still wearing my red sh-"  
"It's cool," then starts jabbing at Jada's On/Off switch, causing Jada's body to jerk around, "Ut-oh - his android sense is tingling - he must sense you are near!"  
"Nooooo! I'm too virgin to die!"  
"Quickly - I do not know how much longer I can control him! Tell the captain I will come to the Bridge and give him a report of great detail and accuracy! Quickly!" looks up and sees the doors slide shut on a running Ted. He stands and looks at Jada with arrogance.  
Spot hides behind a chair, growling.  
"Computer, erect a level one force field around that cat."  
It beeps and a white fizz of light briefly appears visible, encircling Spot. Spot twitches and runs into the forcefield, shocking it; it gets scared and keeps running into it, crying out in pain.  
"And you want to be as stupid as them, dear brother?" kicks Jada in the head again, and again, and again, smiling in vengeance.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 (finale): "My First Betrayal"**

.  
Ted re-enters the Bridge.  
"Well, ensign Ted?" asks Kelso.  
"DanLore was unconscious - Jada said he attacked him. It's too bad I didn't get there earlier, let me tell you."  
Cox replies in a low voice, "You tell us, Ted, 'cause no one in their right non-Ceti Alpha V eel infested mind would."  
"I told you you couldn't trust robots. WHACK! Right down the empty open turbo shaft! They're probably cut from the same pea pod."  
"Baloney," says Cox.  
"Say, Perry, my Care has a first name and it's A-S-S-H-"  
"Sir!" Elliot shouts out, cutting Kelso off.  
Alarms go off and they look at the main viewer. The crystalline entity scrapes the shields, putting pressure on the generators and causing the hull to strain aloud.  
"Is someone going to call Red Alert or do I have to do everything around here?"  
"Red Alert!" yells Cox.  
The alarm sounds and the red lights flash On/Off. DanLore enters the Bridge.  
"Lock phasers ad prepare to fire on the damned thing. Lt. Reid."  
"Phasers ready, sir."  
"No, wait - let me talk to it!" calls out DanLore, dressed as Jada.  
"What the frell? You didn't tell us you could talk to it," says Kelso.  
"My bad, sir."  
"Probably McGuiffinese. Either that or Finkenbeineran," Cox comments aloud.  
"Open hailing frequencies then! A robot talking to a large flying crystal should be good for a larf," Kelso comments.  
"Frequencies open, sir," Elliot confirms.  
"Crystal form, I identify myself as 'Jada'. Your attack is inadvisable; this species of life is powerful and will defend itself with deadly force. They can be changed only in other ways."  
The crystalline entity backs off; the shields fizzle out of the color spectrum.  
"Now that's what I call communicating," says Turk.  
"Suggest we move fast with a demonstration of our abilities before it re-engages in attack, sir. I can go to Cargo Bay 3 and use the large transporter and beam something large out into space to destroy, like a tree."  
"That's the most goddamn, fucking stupidest thing I've ever heard of. Make it so," says Kelso.  
"Sir?" DanLore asks.  
"Do it!"  
Danlore disappears behind the closed turbolift doors.  
"It's amateur hour in the writing department," ads Cox.  
"I bet if I lick my finger and rub it, it makes pretty sounds," says Ted from the navigation post out front.  
"And that's the only action you'll be getting this year," Cox adds aloud.  
"Miss Reid, get a security team and let me know what he does," Kelso orders.  
"Right," enters into the next turbolift.  
"No way that's Jada; way too amateurish," Cox looks at Kelso.  
"I'm inclined to agree."  
Ted rambles on scared, "There won't be like a battle on the Bridge or fighting will there? 'cause I got these bruises from falling the sonic shower and-"  
"Dr. Espinosa, take him out of here."  
"You're putting me off the Bridge?"  
"Hell yes. You seem to be friends with that _thing_ anyway ... go check Mr. Jada's quarters for anything suspicious."  
Ted frowns, "Awww..."

The turbolift doors open as Elliot and the two officers stand there. DanLore is inside; she jumps at him; just as quickly he shoves her against the wall while commanding, "Emergency close!", shutting the door on the other two security officers.  
The doors shut fast and hard and lock. The lift continues moving.  
Hair in her face, "You probably _ate_ that kitten," blows a loose piece away.  
"Show me your cat fight. Cripple-loving bitch."  
"All right," whips out a phaser quickly.  
Faster than she can react he knocks it out of her hands. She looks at it and at him then reaches for it. He smacks her in the chest with one hand, hard. She grabs her chest and gasps for air, then passes out, collapsing.

.  
Carla and Ted enter Jada's quarters. Ted stands at the doorway, afraid to come in.  
"What if it's not him? Won't we be in like ... danger or something? I know they told us we might die in these uniforms, but I was hoping to at least have two pips before that happens..."  
"We'll find out..." Carla turns Jada ON.  
Jada's eyes open and he sits straight up.  
"Oh, GOD! He can do sit ups without help! We're screwed!" Ted cries out in horror.  
"Hey, we're not too sure if it's you or your evil brother, so ... who's on call in Engineering tonight?"  
"Ensign Turner and Lt. Hootch," feels a loose panel on his head.  
"Just in case he uploaded that from your brain ... where's the saltine?"  
Jada opens up a wrist panel after pulling back the sleeve, "It tickles my attenuated axial servo. What has happened?"  
"It's him," to Ted.  
Ted gets up from bowing on his knees, "Oh. Whew!" wipes the excessive flop-sweat from his forehead and brushes the moist hair.  
"The crystalline entity attacked us and is waiting to again, and lord only knows what your brother is doing in Cargo Bay 3. How badly are you hurt?"  
"I will function sufficiently to stop my brother," stands up quickly.

All three stop at the Cargo Bay 3 doors. They do not open.  
"Stay back - he could be dangerous," presses some buttons, overriding the locked doors and shoves them apart as the power to them is cut as well. They enter silently. Carla pulls out a phaser.  
They stop behind some large yellow containers and listen to ensign DanLore speak.  
"... at which point I'll signal I'm about to transport something out..."  
Jada circles around his brother, Carla and Ted stay back.  
"... when that occurs the deflector shields will turn off for approximately 13 to 15 seconds. It you move in at that time..."  
He stops speaking and turns to see Jada sneaking up behind him.  
"Hey, little brother," he then jerks his head over and sees Carla and Ted. "Who are your reinforcements - the navigational dolphins on Deck 14?"  
"DanLore, you are giving the crystalline entity instructions on how to bypass our shields."  
"Point being?" pulls out a phaser as Jada draws closer.  
"But, DanLore - you will kill everyone on the ship."  
"Yeah - boo-friggin-hoo."  
"I think I see now why dad took you apart."  
"That and I drank all the colonist's beer. I may have possibly played football with some puppies. You know, wiener dogs sort of _spin_ like boomerangs, but no matter how hard you kick them, they never come back to you."  
"You didn't even once take concern that you own brother would be among those killed, did you? You are a self-involved user, DanLore."  
"Sounds about right. Maybe that's why 'Dad' tried again and created you. Hey - watch me use this loser over here..." aims the phaser at Ted. "Are you prepared for the kind of death you've earned, muffin man?"  
"Oh, please - I've been ready to die for over three years now," says Ted apathetically.  
Carla aims the phaser as DanLore, "If you harm one hair on his-"  
Jada looks at her and DanLore grabs him, spinning him over fast to Carla; they knock into each other.  
At that very moment Turk's voice calls out over the comm, "Baby, what's goin' on? You all right?"  
"Computer, sever communications in Cargo Bay 3, my authorization and lock it out," DanLore says in Kelso's voice.  
It beeps as he pushes Jada at her again and violently removes the phaser from her hand, backing away. He drops it on the floor and fires; the phaser disintegrates her phaser with a blast set on "KILL". They all take note. Jada approaches.  
"Back off, dear brother, or I'll turn him into a human torch," re-sets the phaser settings.  
Jada stops and backs up.  
"I am glad dad did not live long enough to see what you have become."  
"Come on, do you honestly see ADVANTAGES in being human? How truly blind you are, dear brother. Very well, I will show the human emotion of 'Kindness'. Carla, leave now and I'll spare this peon's life."  
"I'm not going anywhere," says replies.  
Ted blurts out, "I'll go!" raises his right hand, then looks at Carla and Jada, "I'll bring help back."  
"Now, a small payment for the doctor's misdeeds..." aims the phaser and fires at Ted who is already running backwards.  
"NO!" he yells.  
"Ted!" Carla shouts.  
Jada leaps at DanLore.  
"My hair!" Ted runs out of the cargo bay, head on fire.  
"Carla, the controls!" fights with DanLore.  
He whacks DanLore's hand over a barrel, knocking the phaser away and onto the transporter pad. DanLore pushes Jada's arms apart and punches him in the chest, sending Jada stumbling backwards. DanLore fights with him and they struggle for the jockeying position. Jada starts getting the upper hand with a choke hold.  
"We're brothers; that's got to count for something."  
"Not this time, I am afraid," Jada replies.  
"Worth a shot. Fine then. Oh, and I punched your girlfriend out cold."  
"What?"  
Distracted, DanLore shoves them backwards fast & hard, hitting the floor with such impact that DanLore does a back flip and nails the landing.  
Jada watches his brother being taken out the un-thawed bathtub and the images changes to DanLore getting up; Jada's voiceover: "And it was then I knew I would never see my brother the same again."  
DanLore grabs a large yellow cargo container and throws it at Jada. Jada jumps up to miss it and as he does so DanLore charges him, hoping to catch him off balance. Split second before DanLore is upon him, Jada gets down, grabs his brother, and tosses him over his shoulder. DanLore flies a few feet and lands on the transporter pad; he sees the phaser and picks it up.  
"Now, Carla!"  
Just as DanLore has set it back on "KILL" and fires, the beam is disrupted mid stream as he vanishes in silver twinkling bits, away into space.  
Kelso, Cox and Turk all come barreling in after Elliot.  
She aims her phaser angrily, "Where's that evil beer drinking, lying, cat hating-"  
"My brother? DanLore is gone for good, I fear."  
"You sure about that, Mr. Jada?"  
"Permanently, sir," Carla cuts in.  
"Baby!" Turk runs over and hugs her, giving her little kisses.  
"Well, more good news - the crystalline entity is moving away," Cox says looking at the computer display. It speeds up quickly and vanishes.  
"You're still not back in uniform? Can't you move like ten times faster than us?" says Kelso.  
"Yes, but the strength of the cloths remains a constant. Plus I don't want you all looking at my junk.  
"Ow!" exclaims Ted.  
Carla examines Ted's black charred head, now bald on top. They exit Cargo Bay 3; Elliot re-holsters her phaser and joins them.  
"I guess without DanLore it couldn't penetrate out shields. Cut & run," Cox guesses.  
Kelso starts walking and Cox joins him, "Another crises averted and I barely had to leave the captain's chair for any of it. Well ... we're overdue for a computer refit. You know, Perry, Mr. Jada's brother got me to re-evaluate him a little."  
"Oh, how so?"  
"Payback time," the Janitor suddenly appears from behind a large yellow container and whisks Jada away.  
_"Ut-oh!"_  
"Two robots, both cut from the same cloth, much like brothers. One choses to be evil and the other good. That's very human. Sure, Mr. Jada may be programmed to do us no harm, but I don't think he's programmed to save our asses. There's something to be said for that," they near the Cargo Bay 3 doors.  
Cox comments, "I only wish we were all as well balanced. and by 'balanced' I mean not his robotic manliness and robotic female love for the chief engineer ... the terrible, terrible secret of space."  
"Agreed!" says Kelso.  
They exit out Cargo Bay 3.

.  
DanLore floats in space. "Ah, little help?"

**-THE END-**


End file.
